More Novocaine, Please

I never understood why people hate the dentist. I love that clean feeling and knowing that all my teeth are healthy. The Cosby Show taught me early on that dentists were cool.

And there are tons of fun, clever books about teeth:
The Berenstain Bears Visit the Dentist by Stan and Jan Berenstain
Just Going to the Dentist by Mercer Mayer
Arthur's Tooth by Marc Brown
Tooth Fairy's First Night by Anne Bowen
Throw Your Tooth on the Roof: Tooth Traditions from Around the World by Selby Beeler

Although it kind of creeps me out when kids lose their teeth (all the wiggling and gaped-tooth smiling and wanting to put them under their pillow), but I understand it's a kind of rite of passage from childhood to adolescence. It's a sign that you're not the same person you once were, so in a way, it's even kind of amazing.

It also helped that I've never had a cavity, never got wisdom teeth (I'm already smart enough, thank you), always had perfect exams. But that all changed this week when I went to the dentist and he told me a baby tooth I had never lost needed to come out. Err...

So I sucked it up, got in the tooth shuttle and let the dentist go to work. After several near panic attacks (when the drill slipped I really did freak out), very loud heavy metal on my iPod and a lot of hand-holding from two very kind dental hygienists, I have gone from my usual 28 down to 27 teeth. The anesthetic (which was actually Lidocaine and not Novocaine) wore off long ago and I don't have stitches, and still no pain.

I really don't know what all the fuss is about.

The Punctuation Conundrum, or All It Takes Is a Dot of Ink

My writers' group goes round and round about punctuation. Seriously, I think it might be the bane of my existence within the group. (That and speaker tags, but I'll save my rantings on that for another post--or three.) So let me indoctrinate you on Kathryn's Punctuation Style Guide.

Comma: Indicates and interruption or change in phrasing to prevent ambiguity. This is a real hot-button issue among writers, especially when even Oxford University's PR department doesn't use what is known as the Oxford (or Serial) Comma. Some people swear by using a comma before an "and" while others insist it's superfluous. I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong, but there should be a balance in the usage of commas in general. Every time you use a comma, it's like saying to your reader, "Look here! This is important!" So if you're using them in a list or for dramatic pauses, pretty soon they go from clarifying choices to pacing nightmares. But wherever you fall on this issue, make sure you use consistency with your format.

Semicolon: Connects two related ideas, often used in place of a period or conjunction but also with a listing where a comma is not a clear enough indicator. Semicolons are becoming an antiquated form of a conjunction as they are awkward to read and are often misused. In fact, I was reading a book the other day that used a semicolon so well I had to read the sentence twice just to reassure myself that people still know how to use them.

Question Mark: Used instead of a period in cases of an interrogative. Because all questions in writing are rhetorical, interrogatives should be used sparingly and only as a stylistic choice for emphasis or to establish an informal voice. Most languages don't even have variations on a period but instead use verbal indicators to punctuate a question, such as ka in Japanese.

Exclamation Mark: Used instead of a period in cases of an exclamatory remark. Because word choice should carry the power in writing, exclamations should be used sparingly or not at all--choose a better verb instead.

Double-Spaced Period: There should be a single space after a period. Always. This has been the commonly accepted formatting principle for the past 10 years when workers trained to type on computers became more common than those attached to typewriters. If you're still hitting the space bar twice after a period, you're showing your age. Either brake the habit or use "Find" and "Replace".

The moral of this story: Don't waste your ink.

Billy Goats Gruff

Remember that old story Three Billy Goats Gruff? I discovered their bridge this weekend. I think they told people a troll was living under it to discourage visitors. But I know better. It's really surrounded by amazing waterfalls and inspiring forests. Those billy goats just didn't want to share. Selfish billy goats!

My friend Josie and I decided to go on a hike at Great Falls along the Patomac River. Less than an hour from our nation's capitol, you can find yourself in the middle of nowhere with only the most spectacular views to keep you company.

After seeing the main falls, we decided to take a chance on the Billy Goat Trail. What started out as a nice stroll through the woods along a lazy river soon turned into more of a climbing expedition. I guess they call it the Billy Goat Trail because it wasn't really designed for human traffic. It was pretty hot, sweaty work in 95-degree weather with 90 percent humidity.

But reaching the top is always worth the climb.

I believe this answers Carmela LaVigna Coyle's question once and for all. Do Princesses Wearing Hiking Boots? Why yes, indeed we do.

When Old Becomes New, or Two Must-Read Picture Books

I've been reading a lot of picture books this year as I've fallen a bit behind with the new releases, and there are two in particular I can't get out of my head. I give them as baby-shower gifts and birthday presents at every opportunity, and I recommend them to everyone I talk to. These two books couldn't be more different, but for some reason, their differences will indelibly link them in my mind.

Pocketful of Posies: A Treasury of Nursery Rhymes by Salley Mavor

This book of verse kicks it old school with quilting blocks of stories. With influences from collage and found-art mediums, this is anything but your grandma's favorite past time. Though the stories are familiar, the quality of the work makes this a true treasury of rhymes. My personal favorite, "A wise old owl," made me want to reach through the pages and touch the original work.

A Book of Sleep by Il Sung Na

Graphically oriented and richly dark, Na utilizes modern technology to give this book a surreal flare. A lot of people describe this book as "quiet," yet it has the potential to completely change how we look at bedtime stories. Where Margaret Wise Brown's Goodnight Moon introduced a rhythmic lull to night-time traditions, this book proves that art doesn't have to be simple to help get kids ready for bed.

Both of these authors take their genre to another level. They are the epitome of artistic expression yet still make their work accessible to the youngest generation of art enthusiasts. Honestly, Mavor and Na could probably make a lot of money selling their art to the highest bidder, but instead they're making picture books for children who can't even read them on their own. Now that is dedication to craft.

There and Back Again: My 18-Year Journey to Finish Reading The Hobbit

Yes, it took me 18 years to actually read The Hobbit. That's an average rate of about 18 pages per year. It only took me 18 months to read the King James' version of the Bible, and I was done with the last Harry Potter book 18 hours after its release.

I first picked it up back in middle school when a boy I had a crush on insisted it was the best book ever written. The crush didn't last much longer than it took me to get board. Then in high school I picked it up when rumors began to circulate that the Lord of the Rings would be made into a movie. I finally gave up on the prequel and managed to get through the trilogy the summer after I graduated. Then again in college I attempted to read if for my Children's Lit class, but there were too many other books I wanted to read. With 18 months until the movie release, I procured another copy, figuring it might take me that long to get through it. I don't know why I was so determined to read a book that can't hold my interest.

This time I finished it in 18 days, but I still don't like the book. I think it's all those dwarves' names. How can you expect me to remember the names of 13 stout men who all look and act so much alike? At least I know Bilbo, Gandalf and Smaug. Or maybe it's that the action is nowhere near as intense as modern adventure novels. Bilbo may be pretending to be a thief and all, but there are far too many riddle wars and too much wandering around starving to really be considered an adventure–fantasy novel. Or it could be more a book for young children and I was just too old to truly appreciate it. There are a lot of adults who love the book, but how much of that is tied to childhood nostalgia?

No disrespect to people who love this book, but I just don't see the appeal. It's not the first time I haven't liked a popular book (even through Markus Zusak is one of my favorite authors, I couldn't get through The Book Thief, and my disdain for many of the classic British authors like Dickens, the Bronte sisters and Jane Austen is well documented). Then again, there are books I love that other people can't stand (like my passion for Greek plays and Roman philosophers—and Shakespeare, I have yet to read something by Shakespeare I don't love). Some books speak to some people more than others, and The Hobbit happens not to speak to me.



So there's another book marked off my Guilty Un-Reads list. Maybe I'll like the movie better. Or maybe I'll just stay home and read a different book.